My Resolution for 2025? Keep Getting Hotter.
In my mid twenties I spent New Year’s Eve with some friends (two of whom are now married) out in East Hampton at a house overlooking the bay. The house came as a quirky benefit for employees of the design agency I worked for at the time. In the off season, the house was rarely booked as East Hampton became a ghost town after September.
Any chance I could, I would reserve some spots for the house, grab some friends armed with bags of Trader Joe's groceries, and ride the LIRR out to the skinniest part of Long Island. This weekend was the same as the rest. Our days revolved around cooking, reading, and making sure the fireplace continued to burn.
My best friend, Abby, did have one special ritual planned to celebrate the holiday. We watched as she constructed a ship from newspaper and tape. She then gave us all strips of paper and a pen. “Write down what you would like to leave in the new year. We’re having a viking funeral.”
We did as we were told—writing down names of bad habits, bad exes, and bad attitudes. Then, Abby distributed our folded up messages into the boat. As the clock struck midnight, we followed her out to the frozen bay where she placed the boat down on the ice, took out a match, and lit it on fire. We watched the newspaper boat burn while swaddled in our oversized winter coats and clutching red wine. My friend, Artem, asked the group, “What about New Year’s Resolutions?”
When it was my turn to share I bluntly stated, “Keep getting hotter.” Everyone laughed, including me. I was half joking and half dead serious. I’d been single for the longest stretch of my life and was genuinely loving life. I felt hot and I did feel like I had been getting hotter—on the inside and out.
Back in my day-to-day in NYC. I socialized with friends, dated, was creatively challenged at work, on track to achieve my career goals, and loving my fitness regimen. It wasn’t a life of balance, but I prioritized what mattered to me. I would work past 6pm on a Friday night, go directly to the bar, Irish exit before midnight, and head to spin and TRX class at 7AM the next day. Was I also battling debilitating hormonal acne and broke? Yes, but let's suspend disbelief and romanticize this for one moment. What I love most about “Keep Getting Hotter” is that it is both:
1. A reminder that you are hot
2. An invitation to further your hotness
I’ve been thinking about mid-twenties Tay these past few weeks. I remember her, I love her, but I don’t feel much of her now. I’m in a completely new season of life where my priority number one is my kid, not myself. And for the most part, I’m okay with that. I even enjoy it. Not having myself at the center of my universe has required parts of me to grow in ways I never thought I could. I’m grateful for it, but it can be exhausting.
In addition to having a toddler, we’ve also made some huge changes as a family in the past year and have had to overcome some challenges. In 2024 we quit our jobs, bought a parking lot striping franchise, moved to a new state, got accidentally pregnant, and lost a baby. While many of these changes have been positive, the end of 2024 feels heavy. At times it has even felt dark.
The baby we lost is named Lux, meaning “light” in Latin. Lux’s eponym St. Lucia was a martyr who wore a crown of candles to shine light into the darkness. This baby has been a teacher for our family, reminding us to cast brightness into life. What's the point of pushing ourselves so hard if we can’t even enjoy the fruits of our labor?
After getting pregnant in 2022, breastfeeding my toddler, getting accidentally pregnant again, and miscarrying, I have my body to myself for the first time in over three years. Perhaps it is time for me to carve out a bit more space to prioritize what makes me shine.
New Years Eve marks two weeks since I had a D&C. I’m feeling more in my own body every day. I’m even starting to feel hot. Deep core workout with a cup of coffee on the porch? Hot! Learning how to make sourdough? Hot! Catching a glimpse of my legs in my daily mom uniform (biker shorts and an oversized tee)? Hot!
I’ll be looking for these little lights and letting them guide me to all the hotness in 2025. It’s time to shine inside and out. Older, wiser, hotter.
